The Grand Fall

There is something about me besides being human that puts me in a pretty large group of people; I am afraid of heights. 

I suppose a better way of clarifying that fear would be to say that I am afraid of falling. It's probably because for the entirety of my life I've been alone. Falling is much scarier when you know there isn't somebody who will help you stand, brush off and keep walking. I accepted this as circumstance though and moved on, being ever so cautious when it came to anything that could result in me falling. 

Over time I learned to manage it, my fear. I hiked to the top of a glacier in Alaska, I free climbed and rappelled cliffs in Colorado, I started doing these things I'd never done before because I'd been letting my fear control me. Though I did all of these astounding things, the fear was still there but instead of a restraint it had become a slingshot.

I fell so many times, but I also got back up each time, not quite the same as I was before the fall. 

Quite abruptly something shifted my entire universe and my world tilted on its axis. The very gravity I'd been ruled by, clung to, and counted on was gone.

I fell. I let myself fall, I pushed myself into this fall with every fiber of my being. The hardest fall I've ever fallen.

I realized the fall itself is exhilarating and freeing, it's the impact at the conclusion of it that could potentially be a problem. The ground was hastily approaching me, so I closed my eyes and prepared myself. 

Inhale. Exhale. Completely. 

I opened my eyes to find that I was still falling. The impact could come at anytime. I may just hit the ground running. Perhaps I'll never even reach the ground. Whatever the outcome of this grand fall may be, I've embraced it. 

I let myself continue to fall wholly and completely, enjoying every moment of this newfound freedom. 

I used to be afraid of heights, but now I know that heights only exist in my mind. 

The fall is the most profound part of living.